Free Write 2/7/2023: Some One I Used To Know

A free write by Tyler Golec

A girl’s name, I haven’t heard it in a while. Someone in some place in time apparently had a crush on her. If anyone can sympathize with this would be simp, it would probably be me. I remember crushing on her hard as well. Hell, I pretty much simped for her too. I get it, she’s beautiful, a great writer and editor, and nerdy too.

Of course, I was too busy acting like a fool for the time that I knew her. To be honest, it is a weird thing young men deal with. The learned pressures of what is expected from young men, what is made to look desired, and their inticing imaginary lifestyle. That’s not what this is about though. But, it is a strange thing.

Either way, it was odd to hear her name brought up like that. Others knew more about what she had been up to recently. She had offered me some help and advice when I reached out to her a little over a year ago when I was looking for writing work. But other than that, I think it had been a long time since we last spoke. I hoped she was doing well.

It had been a long time since our friends had gathered together like this. I Met Jeff’s girlfriend and Lindsay’s boyfriend for the first time. Everyone was doing well. Soon Ashley would be a mother and Max would be a father. Lindsay already was a mother. Chloe had a baby now, I saw that on Instagram.  Life went on.

Children are great, but I taught kindergarten in Taiwan for several years. As much as I love kids, I couldn’t deal with having my own, not right now. They’re exhausting. I’m sure they’re worth it, but not yet. I hate doing things halfway.

I would like to go back to Taiwan. Hopefully, that time isn’t too far away. It has also been fucking cold recently. Nothing makes you miss living on a subtropical island like a windchill of -34 F which is close to -37 C. It is always bad when Celsius and Fahrenheit are only separated by single digits. The coldest temperature ever recorded in the US was recorded this weekend atop Mount Washington. Yeah, I kind of missed hearing people complain about positive 10 C.

However, Taiwan is quite a bit of fun, and I have been quite a bit more productive recently working on things that are important to me. But… I kind of missed chance encounters on the beach in spring and early summer. I guess I become distracted when the weather is warm and the women are beautiful. 

It’s probably been better to have been tucked away in Western Massachusetts to write. I have a novel now, It’s probably only a couple of months away from being ready for me to look for an agent.

Hearing her name again has me reimagining road trips. Road trips that I really can’t do until I get this book published. The life I want to live is free. But, it’s quite obvious that I need to get my novel published first. Never liked writing research essays in school. It kind of checks that I wouldn’t suddenly become great at or enjoy now. 

I guess I prefer to write experientially or totally from the imagination. I guess that I can be honest now that I felt a bit fraudulent writing travel articles about places I’ve never been. And well, I guess that venture ended appropriately. 

I wondered for a moment if I could find adventures in other cities. Cities where I might be able to try again. I should get that novel published first. My resume is what it is until being an actually published writer is added. Maybe the novel and future novels will be it. Who knows, that might become boring. I quite enjoy trying new things.

I’m just tired of trying things that aren’t what I enjoy. I think that was the shared sentiment of the room. You can find work doing what you care about. Even if you are a bunch of English majors. I made it in several cities in several parts of the world. Everyone here went through something and is still making it.

The subject changed. We aren’t talking about her anymore. Honestly, I hadn’t spoken at all. I guess the edible was kicking in. I was thinking about plenty, just had little to say. I wonder if I’ll see her again. Probably not too strange of a thought. I guess I was high thinking about someone I haven’t thought about for years. I’m sure she is doing well.